Dear Jeremiah: My Journey to Conservatism

Jeremiah,

Hey! Thanks for the note, and thanks for reading the book I loaned you. Keep reading. To answer your question, yes, I would consider myself a conservative but I don’t think that I mean conservative in the same way others do.  What I mean by conservative is that I believe there are some things in history that are worth conserving.

I have enjoyed talking with you about the current array of problems in Christianity. I am also glad that you have not done what so many others have done and walked away from your faith. Christianity is not working as it has in the past; it is not building strong churches. Churches rise and fall, not on the strength of its Christ-like qualities, but on the charisma of its leadership and the overall vibe. Churches have long lost heart in the power of God and have, for centuries now, looked to political and business models for building Christ’s church. As you know only too well, Christianity is not developing durable marriages and families. The attacks of selfishness, greed, covetousness, and sexual immorality as exhibited in pornography and adultery, are destroying families at whim. “Worship” is a billion dollar industry ran by Sony BMG and other secular business executives, and comes with a charge for admission.  Those that reject the worship industry are so wrapped up in sentimentalism that they are unable to pass on even the most basic of their experiences to their children.  All their fond memories and nostalgia will die with them. Truth, beauty, and goodness pass from one generation to the next, but sentimentalism dies with the person who experienced it.

Christianity is not producing godliness. For many, their faith does not work; it’s broken.  It does not do what faith is supposed to do. Some try to return it for a refund while others try, through the power of their flesh, to pretend it works. Everyone goes home frustrated.

For some, the journey to conservatism flows from a desire to help the church. They see the gulf that is growing between the historic church and the modern church. They are primarily concerned about the direction of academic institutions, publishers, and mission agencies. For me, the journey to conservatism was personal. Two events opened my eyes to the idea that not all was right with the world and not right with me.

First, through a series of unrelated events, I began reading the writings of early church leaders. The love that Polycarp, Clement of Rome, and Ignatius all had for their Savior and each other, stood in stark contrast to the fickle weak sentiment of modern Christians. These early church leaders loved different things and had different definitions than the ones we use today for words such as faith, love, friendship, success, joy, and worship.  Their love for Christ and one another clearly shows the poverty and nakedness of modern Christianity. Their faith worked.

The second event in my journey to conservatism was when we moved up to Idaho. It is hard to explain all that took place, but I think I can sum it up with my Sunday morning drives. Early each Sunday I needed to get over to the church to turn on the heat. We lived only a few blocks from the church so I would usually drive out into the country to allow time for the car to warm up and clear the windshield.  Over the years, this drive turned into a habit that changed me at the core of my being. Each Sunday I watched the sun rise behind the Teton Mountains. On the first cold days of fall, I would drive through the mist that came off the river and reflected the red of the scrub oak and gold of the new morning sun. In the summer, I drove past fields of canola, wheat, and potatoes. I would regularly see bald eagles and osprey and occasionally see deer and elk.  The photograph above is from one of those Sunday mornings.

As a Christian, I saw these beautiful sights as examples of God’s glory and majesty. More importantly, they began to give me a context and definition to the words glory and majesty. I had something informing my imagination giving me a mental map to understand concepts like divine power. Seeing the works of God’s hands increased my love and fear of God. I began to understand that love and fear go very well together. God is bigger and infinitely more wonderful than I had imagined Him to be.

As I continued to grow in my love and thankfulness towards God, I also began to recognize a gulf between the God of creation and the God of modern Christianity.  I found myself frustrated that in my early morning drives I would be overcome with awe and wonder at the creative hand of God only to worship Him with expressions of sentimentality and just plain silliness.

Here is a quote I read recently by A.W. Tozer that clarifies the problem.

 The message of this book … is called forth by a condition which has existed in the Church for some years and is steadily growing worse. I refer to the loss of the concept of majesty from the popular religious mind. The Church has surrendered her once lofty concept of God and has substituted for it one so low, so ignoble, as to be utterly unworthy of thinking, worshiping men. This she has done not deliberately, but little by little and without her knowledge; and her very unawareness only makes her situation all the more tragic.

The low view of God entertained almost universally among Christians is the cause of a hundred lesser evils everywhere among us. A whole new philosophy of Christian life has resulted from this one basic error in our religious thinking.

With our loss of the sense of majesty has come the further loss of religious awe and consciousness of the divine Presence. We have lost our spirit of worship and our ability to withdraw inwardly to meet God in adoring silence. Modern Christianity is simply not producing the kind of Christian who can appreciate or experience the life in the Spirit.

As the Pastor and leader of our church worship, I began to look for direction in leading our church family in worship worthy of the Creator. It was this search that led me to conservatism. I found that many years ago, the historic church worshiped the God of creation. They had an intimate knowledge of God’s creation and valued His works. It was reflected in their poetry and hymns, more than just poetic cliché’s from the Psalms. I could elaborate more thoroughly on the musical choices that changed in our church services but there is something more important. I quickly realized that the best music mankind has ever produced, from Bach to the Getty’s, from Handel to John Rutter, all fall exceedingly short of the glory and majesty of God. As someone who now almost entirely listens to Bach and other classical composers, I do not say that to lessen their quality, but to demonstrate that the Creator of the universe deserves something infinitely grander.

Thankfully, our church family easily made the connection between the God of all creation and the God we worshiped each Sunday. This reality took away any sense of pride in our worship and gave us a profound sense of place and humility before God.  We sang out to Him in praise because we could not hold it back. Our worship flowed from our thankful hearts and from our minds consumed with awe and wonder. Our prayers were filled with thankfulness for blessing from God for which we never before gave a second thought.

I believe I have come to better understand the historic church’s definition of glory, majesty and divine power.  I believe that I arrived at these conclusions because I was being influenced by the same thing that influenced the historical church; primarily a distinctly Christian understanding of, and immersion in, God’s creation. These historical meanings and definitions are worth conserving. We have shared and demonstrated these definitions, understandings, and loves with our church families, both in Ashton and at Grace. As they connected the created world and the God they worship, it had a profound impact on their affections, values and conduct. So yes, I would consider myself a conservative, but I may have come about it in a different way than others.

Jeremiah, you are always in my prayers. God is not distant from you and His blessings are all around you.  Take the time to notice them and for all these blessings give thanks.